How to Successfully Live in a Nursing Home
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by Carolyn Ann Howard
I learned a lot about nursing home living since my mother was in one for the last 7 years of her life. As Pastor eulogized at her funeral, he couldn't imagine living 7 months in a nursing home, let alone 7 years. Cheers, yes. But if you must, here's how to make the most of it, even if you're there just to rehab-to-home.
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| Nursing Facility courtesy Pixabay |
If you find yourself in a nursing facility, accept that this is now your home. Even if you are rehab-to-home, this should also be your attitude, as it will make your stay much more palatable. Literally the worst thing about being in a nursing facility is that, as of this writing, most people have a roommate. I feel like this will soon be changing and the sooner it does, the better. But until then, decorate your half of the room to make it feel like your home.
2. Stay mobile.
The nursing facility my mother was in did amazing things to help Mom stay mobile, even against her will. Her last 7 years were miserable, because she didn't accept her plight, nor did she try to stay mobile. If you're mobile, you have so much more freedom, and if you have a good attitude, family and friends will be able to take you for outings if you're mobile. If you need a walker, that's fine. But fight, fight, fight to stay out of a wheelchair. The Physical Therapy (PT) department will most likely allow you to use their exercise equipment, as long as they are there in the PT room and don't need it for another patient for whom PT has been ordered. So use that equipment, such as the stationery bike, to keep your legs strong. Somebody has said that a person needs 10,000 steps a day. You can do that easily in the nursing facility, walking up and down the hallways. Just stay out of the healthcare workers' way.
3. Don't let depressing thoughts weigh you down.
If you find yourself in a nursing facility, you have to keep depressing thoughts away from you. So do things to make yourself happy. Read books, watch TV, play on the computer. What things did you do to make yourself happy prior to finding yourself in a nursing home? I love doing genealogy, for example. Find a hobby that you can manage inside the nursing facility. If you're a reader, which I am not, but if you are, books were in abundance at Mom's facility.
4. Get outside.
Most nursing facilities have courtyards or chairs at the front door. When its nice outside, get out there! Watch the birds, watch the squirrels. Breathe the air!
5. Be nice to everyone.
You don't have to be friends with anyone, but be nice to everyone. You are all in the same boat! And being nice helps to keep everyone's spirits up. Don't get involved in petty disagreements.
6. IMPORTANT - Eat in the dining room.
So many residents eat in their room. This is a mistake for several reasons. Countless rehab-to-home patients - maybe in an effort to make "going home" as their main goal - eat in their rooms. Do not do this. Eat in the dining room. Why? Because it gets you out of your room, and it helps to break up the day. Also, if you need help with your food, that's where the workers are. You can raise your hand, and they will help you. If you're in your room, and you need help, the workers are busy and may not be able to get to you right away. Don't like what you're being served? There are usually alternatives, but these alternatives are available to those who are eating in the dining room. At the facility where my mom was at, there was always chicken noodle soup, and it was pretty good. Also, your food is going to be hotter and fresher.
I noticed that a lot of carbs and sweets were served to the residents in Mom's particular nursing home. Try to stay away from these. First of all, you'll want to watch your weight. Its so easy to gain weight while in the nursing facility. This is bad, because it will help to make you immobile, which is the worst thing that could happen to you.
There are always healthy options. Go for those.
7. Drink your water.
In Mom's nursing facility, there was always coffee, tea, and water available in the dining room. Take advantage of these benefits. The staff always made sure Mom had a glass of water available close by her bed.
8. Participate in the activities.
This will help you to keep your mood up and keep your hands busy. It will also provide you with the fellowship of the other residents. You don't have to get close to anyone if you don't want to, but do have fun with the others who are there and with the workers.
9. Keep up with current events.
10. Keep your mind busy.
Do puzzles or play computer games. Play cards. Don't let your mind be idle. Again, read books! What's something you enjoy? Do that.
11. Don't guilt trip your visitors. I dreaded visits with my mother, because she guilt tripped us every visit, and it's so disheartening to go visit someone who has so much spite because of their situation. She came up with countless conspiracy theories on why she was in the nursing home and begged us to take her home, even though none of us could give her the care she needed. She let her situation get the best of her, and it did not serve her well. So don't do it, because you want your visitors to look forward to seeing you. And, maybe they'll take you out for lunch!
12. Take advantage of special things.
Some nursing facilities take their residents out on a bus for field trips. At the nursing facility where my mother lived, they had restaurant day once a month, where they would order to go food from any restaurant you wanted.
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Nursing facilities are not what they were when I was growing up in the 60's and 70's. I understand why my pastor doesn't want to go into one, and, I don't want to go either! But I know of people who really should go to a nursing facility who absolutely refuse. But at the nursing facility, there are people there to help you should you get up in the middle of the night with a racing heartbeat. Or if you fall down while trying to get to the restroom. And also, they provide things to do so you're not sitting immobile watching TV all day. Or calling your children in the middle of the night asking them to take you to the ER.
Don't think you can afford a nursing home? A good elder law attorney can get you on Medicaid for less than $10,000. I know that's a lot, but at my mom's facility, it cost less to get her onto Medicaid than for one month of skilled care.
