Mom's "Red Noodles" and Other Nonsense

Growing Up with a Preacher Man

Rev. William "Lester" Howard (1929-2021)
Mary Eulalie McLean Howard (1933-2021)

Mom's "Red Noodles" and Other Nonsense
____________________

by Carolyn Ann Howard
This post was updated December 31, 2022

My mother hated to cook, and she didn't keep it a secret from anyone, either. For evening dinner, we had a seemingly rotating schedule of Kentucky Fried Chicken, Banquet Entrees, meatloaf, vegetable soup, ham and beans, and pot roast. They were always delicious, even if she did hate making them. Mom also hated Sundays. Everything about Sundays. Is it because she was married to a pastor? I'm not sure what it was about Sunday that she couldn't stand, but, after she started to work at the Monticello Day Care Center, she decided she was never again going to cook a Sunday evening meal. One Sunday evening, however, Mom cooked up a mess of macaroni, to which she added salt, butter and tomato sauce. It was delicious.

I quickly learned how to do this on my own, and I believe that was the final death knell for Sunday evening dinner. I'm not sure when I began doing a lot of my own cooking, but I was 11 years old when I started counting calories. I was an overweight child. My mom made fun of me for it yet continued to buy sugary sweets. We never suffered from not having a doughnut in the house. I started counting calories and working out in 6th grade, and it worked. I lost the weight. But eating right? No, not until much later in life. Mom didn't keep vegetables in the house aside from canned corn, green beans, peas, and carrots.

Funny how things are handed down from mother to daughter when you think about it, especially, I think, after your mom has passed. I made macaroni and tomato sauce for myself many times as a child and as an adult. And then, when my daughter was born, I started making them for her. In fact, it was she who coined the term "red noodles." Why we didn't call it "red macaroni," I don't know, except it doesn't roll off the tongue the way red noodles does. When my daughter was little, mom's red noodle recipe morphed into those little pasta wagon wheels or whatever pasta her granddaughter wanted that day.

Something else I learned, not from my mom but from the day care center cook, was "butter bread." This was two slices of white bread with margarine spread evenly from crust to crust on one of the slices. Then put on the other slice to make a sandwich and cut into quarters. My daughter called it "butter bread," another staple of my childhood and hers. Its okay, though. She has grown up to become a healthy veg-heavy private chef. The butter bread didn't do any lasting damage.

When I was growing up, we didn't have a microwave oven, as they hadn't been invented yet, but I loved TV dinners. The food was contained in an aluminum rectangle with dividers to keep everything separated, wrapped with foil on top. To heat the food, it had to be put into the oven. I eventually learned to make mashed potatoes for myself from a box and Banquet Foods came up with "boiling bags." Their Salisbury steak or turkey with dressing were packaged in plastic bags. The instructions were to drop the bag into boiling water for about 5 minutes. Couple that with boxed mashed potatoes and boom! Instant TV dinner! No vegetables needed! My pocket calorie counting book didn't come with nutrition info, by the way, just calorie information.

Something else I learned to do as a child, and I have no idea how, but perhaps from the Betty Crocker cookbook my mom had. I loved chipped corn beef on toast. And so I would make that for dinner sometimes - or lunch. Both my parents worked and I had to fend for myself quite a lot. After Food Network came onto the scene, I learned that what I was making was a roux. Fancy!

That's the thing about the Betty Crocker cookbook and the cooking shows on TV in the 1960s. They assumed you had already learned the basics of cooking from your mother. I hadn't. That I learned to make a roux as a child still boggles my mind to this day. I have also learned from that basic roux, I can make gravy and bechamel for mac-n-cheese! 

When I married my first husband, I decided I was going to cook every meal every day. As an example of my poor cooking, I would put pork chops covered in flour into cold oil. Then I would put a lid on the pan and slowly heat everything up until the "juices ran clear." The flour never stuck to the meat, and I am positive that they were awful. But my husband and I would eat everything I made.  Oh, he made fun of me mercilessly in front of his family, but he never complained at home. This was in the 1980s, and we still didn't have Food Network. I didn't realize that I just needed to learn some basics. Now I know how to properly dredge meat and that it needs to be put it into hot oil and no lid!!!

I didn't inherit my mother's gifts for art. She was very good with colors, I'm not. She was so talented in painting things; decorative art is what she called it. I can draw a stick figure pretty good. She knew exactly what items of clothing go together. I'm better at it now. I inherited very few of Mom's good qualities, but my daughter inherited them all. She can paint and draw and do all the things my Mom was talented with doing. She's fabulous with hair and make-up and clothes, just like my mom. She’s also great at sewing, again, just like Mom. But unlike Mom, my daughter loves to cook. She can make the most complicated dishes. She can Guy's Grocery Games anything that's in the kitchen. She can make pasta and biscuits and cornbread from scratch, from memory, and without measuring anything, and they are all to die for. She can get anyone to eat their vegetables.  And something else she's good at, too. She can make red noodles.

© 2022 by December Moonlight Publishing, LLC

Nelson Isaiah Howard (1843-1929)

 Johann Gottfried Hauer (John Godfrey Howard) Family Line

Nelson Isaiah Howard (1843-1929) A Really Nice Guy Who Knew What He Wanted
____________________

by Carolyn Ann Howard

Nelson Isaiah Howard was born 01 Feb 1843 in Middlebury, New York, a great-grandson of John Godfrey Howard, the Hessian soldier who came to the U.S. from Germany to fight in the Revolutionary War.  He was the second eldest to his parents Nelson Jacob Howard and Catherine Cornelia Mickel. 

The first census that Nelson appeared in is the 1850 census, when he was six years old. The family was still in Middlebury at this time. Nelson's father was a farmer and his real estate value was $1900. That's a pretty good number! The three oldest children, Phillip, 8; Nelson, 6; and Angenette, 5 had all attended school within the year. In 1860, however, the family was in Scioto Township, Jackson County, Ohio. Nelson's dad was still a farmer. His real estate was worth $1200 and his personal estate, $300. The eldest, Phillip, was a laborer. Neither Phillip or Nelson were in school, but this census does not have an occupation for Nelson. All the other children are in school, though, and everyone can read and write.

The Civil War soon broke out after this census, and Nelson enlisted 04 Aug 1862 as part of the 1st Ohio Light Artillery, Company L. He was a little late to the game, however, as this company's original muster date was 08 Oct 1861.  He would join his fellow soldiers at Alexandria, Virginia. As such, he would participate in 9 battles with his company, including the Battle of Gettysburg. Nelson, along with the entire company, mustered out 04 Jul 1865 in Columbus, Ohio. Later in Nelson's life, according to newspaper articles, his grandchildren would visit the sites of the battles where their grandfather had fought.

During his time in the Civil War, he lost a brother and sister - Emma Jane, 7, and William, 14. I checked every single person's Ancestry tree to see if I could possibly find a source for at least Emma's place of death. Every single person has her dying at Arvada, Colorado, and no one has any documentation for this available on Ancestry. Wikitree also has nothing. I checked all my newspaper sources and came up empty handed. Emma died 02 Apr 1863. Her brother died just two days later. According to Wikipedia, Arvada is the first place gold was found in the Rocky Mountain region. The Territory of Colorado was formed 28 Feb 1861.

I have failed to find marriage records for Nelson or his bride Frances Ellen Folin, except for the 1900 census which listed them as being married for 32 years. That puts their marriage year as 1868, the year their eldest, William Forrest, was born.

In the 1870 census, the couple are still in Ohio with their two children, William, 2, and Emily, 6 months. Nelson is listed as a farm laborer, something I'm sure he wasn't content with.  The value of his real estate is left blank, and his net worth is $100. He may have received housing as part of his compensation. This census shows him correctly as being born in New York. His wife and 2 children were all born in Ohio. I thought, at first, that perhaps Nelson worked on his father's farm. On double-checking, however, his father and mother are in Prairie Creek, Illinois in 1870. The value of his father's real estate is also blank, but his personal worth was $500.

By the time the couple's third son, Ovid Albert was born in 1872, Nelson and his wife were in Waterville, Kansas. This son soon died, unfortunately. Their next child was James Otto, who was born 18 Feb 1874. On the 1875 Kansas State Census, Nelson was still listed as a farm laborer with both real estate and personal property values left blank. His wife and three children were also with him as was another farm laborer, Leroy Field.

Finally, in the 1880 census, it looks like Nelson was on his way to the bigtime. He wasn't in Waterville anymore but 300 miles to the west in Grant County, Kansas. The census listed him as "farmer," not laborer or farm laborer. This census doesn't tell us whether he owned land or how much he was worth, though, so we can't be for sure just by looking at the record. His wife was with him, and his four children: William, Emma, James, and Harry. The oldest three were all in school. Harry was only 2. I think it's interesting that the census enumerator, when listing Ohio as the birthplace of everyone except Nelson, he simply put "O."

Nelson's parents and a sister, in the 1880 census, were no longer in Prairie Creek, Illinois, but now were in their son's old stomping ground of Waterville, Kansas! The checkmark notating sick is next to his dad's name. On this census page, 12 people are marked as sick. Their daughter, Nelson's sister, 32-year-old Frances was listed as "at home."

In the Clyde Herald newspaper dated 06 Jul 1892, it stated that Nelson had begun receiving a pension for $12 a month with $200 back pay. The article stated that he had to wait for it for quite a while, but in his good humor, he also stated that it came at a good time.

Our next document is the 1895 Kansas State Census, dated 01 March. In this census, Nelson is listed as a farmer, along with his wife and five of his eight living children: Harry, Oscar, Grace, Earl, and Herbert. And then heartbreak struck the family. Nelson accidentally turned a lamp over and burned his house down. Everything that was downstairs inside the house was saved but nothing from the second story. He did receive an insurance settlement for this from "The German Insurance Company," and he promptly built a new house.

 In 1897, Nelson's mom died. His father followed in 1899. His father's obit stated that he had "lived on the farm where he died 28 years." That means, Nelson's parents moved to Waterville in 1871, so that checks out. The senior Nelson's obit states that he was, "kind to his neighbors, honest in his dealings, and believed in a true and living God."

Back to Nelson, Jr., in the 1900 census, we get the answer we were looking for. Nelson owns his own farm. It's mortgaged, but its his. Along with Nelson is his wife, who has had 10 births with 8 living children. That is correct. Living with them are their sons, Harry, Oscar, Earl, and Herbert. The two older boys are listed as farm laborers. The younger two are listed "at school."

In the 1905 Kansas State Census, Nelson is now 62 and still owed on his mortgage for the farm. This census doesn't give us much information, basically a list of who lived in the home and their ages. In Nelson's home are his wife, who is now 59 and two of his sons, Earl, 19, and Herbert, 15.

In the 1910 Federal Census, Nelson is no longer in Grant County, Kansas, but in the city of Clyde, Kansas in Cloud County.  Listed with him are his wife and son, Herbert, along with his daughter-in-law, 19-year-old May. Nelson was a farmer on a "general farm" on his own account. No mortgage this time, but it states he "rented" his "house," not a farm. His son's occupation is that of a farmer on a farm. The Clyde Voice Republican newspaper gives us the reason for this confusing detail. Nelson and his family have moved from the farm! In the 24 Feb 1910 edition, the newspaper tells us that Nelson has moved to town and is renting a house! I'm wondering if they did this so that they could have electricity and/or telephone service. In listening to my great granduncle's interview, he talked about how much easier their lives were after getting electricity.

In the 1915 Kansas State Census, it is Nelson and his Frances, along with just their daughter-in-law, May, and her son Gerald. Herbert is not there and later documents list him as divorced. I haven't been able to find much out about May, but she continued to live with her father- and mother-in-law after her divorce. They are still in Clyde, and this census tells us that he owned his house free and clear.

In the last census record for Nelson in 1920, it is Nelson, 76, with his wife Frances, 72. His occupation is "none." May is gone, but their grandson Charles remained. He was 9. It would be Charles who would order Nelson's military stone after Nelson's death in 1929.

I was unsuccessful in finding an obit for Nelson Isaiah, but I peeked at my cousin Glenn's tree, and he appears to have been in pretty bad shape health-wise at the end with poor eyesight and hearing as well as pain. But his life was good. Newspaper articles show him visiting all manner of family, especially his son William Forrest, who lived in Pocatello, Idaho. It also showed all manner of family visiting him. He was generous, having once taken a bushel of corn to the newspaper editor's office and volunteering when others needed help. I also think it speaks volumes about a man who worked his way up to owning his own farm. He knew what he wanted, and he made it happen.

© 2022 by December Moonlight Publishing, LLC

Seth C. Howard, An "Intemps" from New York (1836-1908)

 Johann Gottfried Hauer (John Godfrey Howard) Family Line

Seth C, Howard (1836-1908)
____________________

by Carolyn Ann Howard

Seth Howard was a grandson of John Godfrey Howard, the Hessian soldier who came to the U.S. from Germany to fight in the Revolutionary War.  He was the son of Jacob Howard and Mary J. "Polly" Covell. The "C" in Seth's middle name might be Covell, but I am not certain. Seth is my 1st cousin, four times removed.

I became interested in Seth because of a document that Ancestry showed me, and that was the "New York Census of Inmates in Almshouses." Inmates did not mean prisoner. Patients were also called inmates at that time - just a blanket term for anyone housed in an institutional setting. Seth and his wife, Frances, both were institutionalized in The Genesee County Poorhouse.

Thinking of poorhouse, I think of the County Farm in Monticello, Indiana,  where I grew up in the 1960s-1970s. We didn't have a poorhouse, but we did have a County Farm that housed inmates. Two of those inmates - men - went to my dad's church, Bill Kretchmar picking them up every Sunday. They were an odd couple. It feels like one was tall and slender and the other shorter and portly. They were always in good spirits, though, so I didn't attach a negative connotation to the place where they lived. As I got older and more musically inclined, I began to accompany my father to Sunday afternoon services there so that I could play hymns for the "old folks" to sing.

Getting back to Seth Howard. He was born March, 1836 in Middlebury, New York in what was then Genesee County, now Wyoming County. The 1850 census was the first census that listed everyone by name, and in this census, 14-year-old Seth was with his parents and siblings in Middlebury. Also nearby were his aunt and uncle, as Seth's father was one of three brothers who made their way to Middlebury from Grafton, New York, in or around 1831. Seth's father, Jacob and his Uncle Elias settled in Middlebury. The other brother is my 3x great-grandfather, Abraham, who moved on to nearby Attica. On the 1950 census, the farm where Seth lived with his father was valued at $1200. Nice!

In the 1860 census, 24-year-old Seth was now married to 18-year-old Frances Peck. They had a 5-month-old daughter, who went by many names during her life, but in the end, she settled on "Ella." In this census, she was Eleda. Seth was correctly listed as a carpenter and his net worth was $75.

In the 1870 census, 33-year-old Seth was still married to 27-year-old Frances, as he would be the entirety of his life. His occupation was listed as wagon maker, also correct. He had done well in 10 years. His real estate was valued at $700 and his personal worth $300. Their eldest daughter on this census was listed as 10-year-old Alice M. who "attends school." Merritt, who was 8 years old also "attends school." Quite a jump from 8-year-old Merritt to the newborn, Carrie, who is one year old.

My dear cousin Glenn also obtained an entry from a business directory for 1870-1871. This directory listed Seth Howard as part of the firm "Cowley and Howard," who were blacksmiths and carriage makers. Cowley's first name was Covel.

The next census I have is the 1875 New York State Census. Everything looks fine here as well. Seth and the fam were in Warsaw. He was valued at $1800 and listed as a carpenter. Everyone is else is there, too: Frances, his wife, along with children Ella, listed this time as Alida, Merritt, Carrie, Henry, May, and Charles.

But here is where it gets interesting. The 1880 census tells an unusual story. What is going on here? Seth is still very much alive, but his family is all divided up. His wife, Frances, was listed with their son, Merritt, in Middlebury. He was head of household at the age of 19. His occupation: carpenter. Ella - listed as Alice - is in Warsaw with her new husband, Charles McClure.  Henry and Charles are with their aunt and uncle, Seth's sister Catherine and her husband, John Van Buren, in Warsaw. Their youngest, Ida, was with Seth's nephew George and his wife. I can't find their daughters, May or Carrie anywhere. Believe me it's not for a lack of trying.

If you use Family Search for the 1880 census records and put in Seth Howard with a birth year of 1836, you will get 9 entries for "Seth Howard." However, only one of those Seths match with ours, and it probably is our Seth Howard, who was living not in New York but in Davison, Michigan. This Seth was born in 1836 in New York, he used the "C" as his middle initial, and he was listed as a wagon maker, which is the correct occupation. He was living in the same household as 75-year-old John Golden, who was born in Ireland. But here - get this - he was listed as living with Carrie - and not his daughter, Carrie, who was born in 1869. This Carrie was born in or around 1856, is 20 years Seth's junior, AND she was listed as Seth's wife!!!!

I made a tree for John Golden, but it was futile, because I have so little information. Who was he? Was he Carrie's dad? How did all this come about?

The next record we have is the 1892 New York State Census. Seth was back with his true wife, Frances, but he is listed as a mechanic, not a carpenter or a blacksmith. However, being a wagon maker or a blacksmith would naturally transition to mechanic, so this is not a red flag by any means. Their 22-year-old son Peter was with them, listed as a carpenter. 

And then, very real tragedy struck as fire swept through Wyoming Village, taking many structures with it. Fires were a real threat as most buildings were all wood structures. Even if made of brick, the fire would still burn everything inside. Seth lost his house in this fire. Another man by the name of Cowley also lost his home. This might have been Seth's business partner. A church was lost, a cider mill, nine homes in all, and countless businesses. It must be something to be a victim of this type of tragedy. And one might think this was the start of Seth's true downfall if he had not built a post office in Warsaw, New York a year later.

On the 1900 census, Seth was with his wife in Warsaw. Everything here looks fine except for one detail. Frances states that she had 4 total births with only 2 living children. What is this? Seth and Frances had at least 4 living children at this time: Merritt, Ella, Henry, and Charles. I have found, in my research, that they had at least 7 children total. Knowing that this couple both ended up in the poorhouse, I'm wondering if a little dementia was settling in. Or maybe she or Seth were just mad at 2 of them, something like "you're dead to me" type of attitude.

The last little bit of info I have on Seth Howard before entering the poor house is a theft in 1903. He allegedly stole a bench vise from W. E. Evans. He was let out on his own recognizance, and Evans dropped the charges.

I've read a little bit about the newfangled poorhouses of the early 1900s. It was not pretty.  A huge social push was overtaking the country where reformers thought they could abolish poverty. New York had a huge bureaucratic hierarchy when it came to the poorhouse system. The thing most notable to me in my studies is that they were always trying to save money and cut corners and that everyone was lumped into the same system - those with mental illness, delinquents, and old folks. This was not going to work, and it didn't.

When entering into the poorhouse, the first thing that happened was that the inmate was stripped of their clothes, made to bathe in an antiseptic soap, and given a uniform. This intimate act of bathing was all done under watching eyes. If that didn't further affect someone's mental health, what else would? And we all know that bad, bad things happened in these dark, dreadful places.

A person wasn't just placed into a poorhouse, though. It had to be determined that they needed to be there. Things that determined this, for example, were begging in the streets or sleeping outside. In New York, a particular form was filled out for each inmate, called a census. On Seth's census, it states that he had been on "public relief" - where? "several places" and when? "about 10 years." It described his physical condition as helpless and the cause of his dependence on sickness. The one thing that really concerns me, though, is that his habits are marked as "intemps." This was an abbreviation for intemperance, meaning they thought he drank too much. Alcohol was indeed very much a problem in the U.S. at this time; however, alcohol was also given as medicine and apparently it wasn't hard to come by, even in the poor house. So, I'm not sure we can really surmise much if anything from this observation. But also, if he was sundowning, he could have very much acted like a drunk.

Unfortunately also for his wife, Frances, she was admitted to the poorhouse the very same day. Many times, the families were separated from each other and were punished if they were caught talking to each other. Her census stated that her health was "fairly good" but that she was "homeless and destitute." It stated that she had been on public relief for about 15 years. Doing my research, women were not often institutionalized in the poorhouse, because their children, while not feeling guilt for not taking care of their father, usually felt differently about their mother. But yet, here she is, living in the direst of places - a New York poorhouse in the early 1900s.

Seth died from a stroke 28 Sep 1908. He is listed on the Genesee County Home web site as having been an inmate there, he is not on the list of people who died there. Same goes for Frances, who died 29 Nov 1909 from stomach cancer. Her obit stated that she died at Ella's house and had 4 surviving children: Ella, Merritt, Henry, and Charles.

© 2022 by December Moonlight Publishing, LLC

Things My Mom Lost

Growing Up with a Preacher Man

Rev. William "Lester" Howard (1929-2021)
Mary Eulalie McLean Howard (1933-2021)

Things My Mom Lost
____________________

by Carolyn Ann Howard

We all lose things. 

Yesterday at church, at the noon service for Maundy Thursday, I wanted to look nice. I put on my diamond earrings that my husband gave me, my circle heart necklace, and my wedding rings. My skin is so sensitive, I can only wear my wedding rings sparingly, unfortunately. Then, I saw Mom's tennis bracelet that I got from her after she died. I saw it, put it on, and went to church. Funny, too, I kept looking at it kept thinking how neat it was to be wearing a part of my mom at the service.

After church, I had a post-op appointment with the surgeon and then home. Once home, I went to the bathroom to get ready for bed, since I was done for the day, and I love my PJs! I took the necklace off, the rings, the earrings - ouchy wouchy - even really good earrings make my ears red after a little while. And then, the bracelet. But the bracelet wasn't there. I looked in the closet where I keep my jewelry. Not there. I went outside to look in my Jeep Compass. Not there. I called the church. Not there. I called the surgeon's office. Not there. The bracelet was gone; I had lost it. And then I thought, well... that figures.

Growing up, I was always losing things that belonged to Mom. In 7th grade, my mom finally let me get my ears pierced. After, I asked Mom if I could wear her beautiful earrings to school and, totally unlike her, she said yes. I promised her I would take good care of them, and that I wouldn't lose them. You guessed it. I lost them. In hindsight, I wish she would've said that I should just wear them to church and then take them off afterward. And that's what I should've done yesterday. But I forgot about the bracelet after our beautiful Maundy Thursday service was over.

When I was in 2nd grade at Woodlawn Elementary in Monticello, Indiana, I wore one of my mom's gorgeous scarves to school.  It was a particularly windy day, and Betty Maxwell and I were together on the playground, using our scarves as kites. The wind hit my mom's scarf just right, and it went soaring away. I mean, it flew away like it was fleeing the doomsday machine.

Mom lost her childhood home to the 1937 flood of the Ohio River in Scuffletown, Kentucky. Her Uncle John Pfingston was her rescuer that night. Thank God for Uncle John Pfingston. He saved everyone who lived in Scuffletown using his ferry.  After that, mom moved with her family just across the river to rural Newburgh, Indiana, close to Cypress Beach and Vanada Station. Click on photos to enlarge

Uncle John Pfingston's Ferry
Around 1937
Carolyn Ann Howard Family Collection

She went to high school at Yankeetown, and then her school burned down, so she lost that, because they didn't rebuild. After the fire, they bussed the Yankeetown kids to Pioneer School in Boonville, Indiana. Mom never got over her school burning down. Even after dementia began to set in, she would often tell the story of her school burning down.

Mom's Senior Photo
1951, Boonville, IN
Carolyn Ann Howard Family Collection

After Mom married Dad, she lost her name. She loved her name, Mary McLean. She hated being Mary Howard. Today women just hang onto their maiden name if they want. Not so in the 1950s, especially in the religious family she married into. Mom's brother had married Mary Lott, who became Mary McLean. Mom always resented this, feeling as if her sister-in-law had somehow stolen her name.

Mom (L) with her brothers and sister
Carolyn Ann Howard Family Collection

In 1963, I moved with my family to Monticello, Indiana, where we would live until 1977. We built quite a life at Monticello. My mother was the director of the highly reputable Monticello Day Care Center. Fourteen years later, my father got this itch to move to Evansville. An opening came up at a church, and he jumped at the chance, moving us to Evansville. Mom lost everything. She lost her friends, her job, her high station in life, her big house. She lost it all. Once to Evansville, she pivoted and became a successful artist, but she never recovered from the move, often speaking of Monticello with tears in her eyes.

Mom in her art studio about 1995
Taken by Ruth Kretchmar (1927-2011)
Carolyn Ann Howard Family Collection

Once her granddaughter was born, my mom soon began to teach her to sew. Together, they sewed a beautiful blanket. My mother loved that blanket, so Stephanie gave it to her. When Mom started talking about wanting to die somewhere around 2002, it got her into trouble. She also couldn't stop talking about the miscarriage she had in or around 1958. She would literally weep over this baby. She also couldn't stop talking about a family member who had been Catholic, who had married into the McLean family, and the McLean family shunned her for her Catholicism - I believe it might have been her paternal grandmother. My mother ended up in a mental ward at a hospital, and my father let her take the blanket that she and Stephanie had made together. You know the rest of the story. She lost the blanket. She came out of the mental ward, after shock treatment, not talking about her miscarriage or her family member. She was so angry about the blanket. She demanded that Stephanie make her a new one. And I told her, "Mom, I don't think she can, because I don't think she knows how to by herself."

And lastly, in the nursing home, just a few years before she died, my dad became obsessed with Mom wearing her wedding rings. Mom had lost so much weight, her rings didn't fit anymore. So Dad hired a jeweler from Boonville to come into the nursing home and measure her finger. Then the jeweler took the rings and resized them and cleaned them. Dad was so happy that Mom was going to wear her rings again, even though I warned him time and again that this was not a good idea. Dad rarely listened to me. He was hell bent on her wearing her wedding rings. She didn't wear them for very long until they were gone. We don't know what happened to them, but I was very careful not to be accusatory. My father, not so much.

Mom at Newburgh Healthcare about 2020
Carolyn Ann Howard Family Collection

I'm not big into jewelry and never have been. My skin didn't used to be so sensitive, so that's not it. I think it's because I lost those earrings way back in 7th grade. I have always been so afraid of losing jewelry. But, I am going to buy another tennis bracelet to honor the memory of my mother. It probably won't look like the one I lost yesterday, but it's going to have a good clasp so that I don't lose it. And I'm only going to wear it to church.

© 2022 by December Moonlight Publishing, LLC

My Mom and Her Clothes - Mary Eulalie McLean Howard (1933-2021)

Growing Up with a Preacher Man

Rev. William "Lester" Howard (1929-2021)
Mary Eulalie McLean Howard (1933-2021)

My Mom and Her Clothes
____________________

by Carolyn Ann Howard

Click on photos to enlarge

Mom in our backyard in Monticello, IN
About 1974
Always well-dressed
Carolyn Ann Howard Family Collection

 I have been thinking about clothes, because I need some. Target used to be my go-to for cute tops, until the pandemic somehow sunk the fashion world and sent it back to the 1800s.

Now, in 2022, it feels like they're trying to dig themselves out of the fashion hole, but I still didn't find any cute tops there yesterday. Instead, I found this:

It made for a good Facebook post, though, and my friends were discussing clothes. From this discussion, I remembered my parents once more and how they both were always dressed very well.

I don't know where or how my parents learned to dress. My mother was fantastic with colors. Me? Not at all. Nor was my dad, and so my mother would help him pick out what tie went with what suit, and he loved her for it.

Growing up in Monticello, Indiana, my father went to what was called a haberdasher. This was a person who dealt in men's clothes and helped businessmen dress well. Sure, my dad was a pastor, but make no mistake, he considered himself a businessman. Dad had a beautiful fedora that he kept in a hat box when he wasn't wearing it. Now that's saying something. If that man ever wore jeans in his life, I didn't know it. He was always dressed "to the nines," as they say. Suit slacks, button down shirt and tie on casual days, suit coat on not so casual day. When pastors started dressing casually for the church service, he lamented this. His reasoning was that because businessmen are always dressed well, then pastors should too. (Click on photos to enlarge.)

Mom could sew really well, too, so she would help Dad with alterations if needed. And look at that beautiful dress and those shoes on the above 1948 picture of Mom and Dad.

Mom loved clothes, jewelry, shoes, make-up... all the things. She would spend hours sometimes getting herself ready to go somewhere. Everything had to be just right. Just going through pictures of my parents to share here on this blog post, every picture, they are dressed very well.

Mom, second to the left, with her siblings.

Around 1977

Around 2001

Unfortunately, growing up, my mother was very strict in what I could and could not wear. I hated being under the pressure. I was already anxious as it were, a bit on the chubby side, and with a total lack of self-confidence. If I found things to wear that I was comfortable with, she would say no. I remember once I had put on an orange pair of pants and an orange shirt to wear to our church's skating party, and she grabbed me and told me in no uncertain terms that I wasn't leaving the house looking like that. We can laugh about it now.

When I was a young girl, she would spend what seemed like forever getting my bow tied on my dress just right for Sunday church. Standing still for however long it took her to get it perfect was harrowing, waiting for her to have it just right. And for what? A bow? Every time when she would untie the bow in exasperation, my spirits would fall.

Mom and me at Lincoln State Park
I'd say about 1965-66

It was such a fight all the time. Mom would drag me every year to Lafayette to shop for school clothes, and I can't stand to shop very long even to this day. We would hunt all morning for clothes to wear, and I hated everything she picked out, and she hated everything I picked out. Then we'd have lunch, and I'd be ready to go home, but I still didn't have any clothes. So, I gave in and let her buy the clothes she wanted me to have, and then I'd wear the same thing over and over again, even though I had perfectly good clothes in my closet. My body image, for one thing, was down the drain. That was a lot of it. But also, she never called me out for not wearing the clothes she had bought for me.

She finally one day took me to Miller's Department Store in Monticello and had a young lady there try to help me with things to wear. The thing about Miller's Department Store is that they didn't like their customers very much. I found a few things on that visit, but we only went once.

Finally at 16, she let me loose. We had just gotten a newfangled general merchandise retailer in our little town called Schultz Department Store - a fancy K-Mart. I was so happy. She gave me money and said "go buy your own clothes." And boy, did I ever. This is one of the first outfits I bought after being given my liberation. It's not so bad, right?

The first outfit I bought on my own
I've always loved cemeteries
My apologies to the Owens family

Even toward the end, my dad made sure my mom always had good clothes to wear at the nursing home. He would pick them out himself and take them down there, and tell the workers exactly what pants went with what shirt. He also made sure her hair was done by a beautician every week.

Mom at the nursing home, December 2020

 My father's impeccable dress may have done him some disservice at the end. I was trying my hardest to get people to see that he needed help, and no one would listen, including my dad. He still was able to dress well, and he was in denial that he needed help. Because he played everything off, so did everyone else, no matter how loud I was yelling to the contrary. It was too late by the time he realized he needed help. We were able to get him into the nursing home, but it was too late to make him well again.

In the end, Mom passed just months after Dad, so we decided to brand their funeral pics by using this one from 1976. I'm not sure why Dad is cut off a bit in this one. They are fully centered in the original. I loved that tree behind them - a sassafras that was in our front yard at Monticello. But this picture epitomizes my parents and their impeccable dress. A fitting tribute, I thought, to their end of life.

 

© 2022 by December Moonlight Publishing, LLC

Henry F. Howard (1870-1953)

 Johann Gottfried Hauer (John Godfrey Howard) Family Line

Henry F. Howard (1870-1953)
____________________ 

by Carolyn Ann Howard

Something I've learned, even though it seems like it should have been so clear, is how little information Ancestry really can tell you about your family. For instance, Henry F. Howard, in the 1880 census, the first census that he is counted, lived not with his parents but with his aunt and uncle. His younger brother is living there, too. Henry is 10 and his brother, Charles, is 6. Henry's mom, Frances, was listed with her son, Merritt. Merritt was listed as the head of household and as a carpenter.

A lot of the Howard family line ended up in Michigan, which led my dad to assume that the Howard family, as a group, walked from New York to Michigan. And then - according to his incorrect theory - our direct Howard line walked from Michigan down to Martin County, Indiana. This is untrue, and I have proven that this is not the case. My Howard family line came directly from New York to Martin County, Indiana, perhaps via the Erie Canal. This is where Ancestry's limitations come in. The point is that Henry F. Howard's family was disjointed in the 1880 census, and the cold, hard facts cannot, as of now, tell us why.

Henry F. Howard is my second cousin, three times removed. His parents are Seth C. Howard and Frances Peck. There's that name Peck again. It keeps coming up over and over, seemingly unrelated, but we know that nothing in genealogy is unrelated. My common ancestor with Henry F., though, is his great-grandfather, who is my 4x great grandfather, John Godfrey Howard. When Godfrey came to the colonies from Germany to fight in the Revolutionary War as a Hessian soldier, did he realize how vast and diverse his family would become? Does my father, who has since passed and is in heaven, talk with John Godfrey about any of this? Does it matter by then? I don't know, but I love, love, love researching family stories here on earth! And not just my family, but I have a few Martin County and Orange County, Indiana, families who are unrelated to me that I research and study. It's so interesting.

In 1893, Henry F. married Louise Thompson. My friend and cousin, Glenn, has her listed as Sarah Louise. I'm sure he is correct. He also provides a picture of the happy couple: Click on photos to enlarge

Henry and Louise Howard
Courtesy Lovell Family Collection

In the 1900 census, Henry and Louise lived at 114 State Street in Batavia, New York. They have two children with them on this census. Florence was 4 years old and Ernest was 2. This census tells us how many times she had been pregnant, and it was 2 times. So fortunately, she had not suffered any miscarriages or stillbirths. The home they lived in was rented, and he was a carpenter. His father had also been a carpenter.

In the 1905 New York State Census, the family lived at 307 North Street in Buffalo. He was still a carpenter and living with them were their three children, Florence, Ernest, and Delbert. (I love the name Delbert.)  The two older children were listed "at school," and the youngest, 5-year-old Delbert, is "at home."

In the 1910 census, Henry and Louise lived at 108 E. North Street in Buffalo, New York. Their now four children are listed with them: Florence, Ernest, Delbert, and Dorothy. This census showed that she has had 5 births with 4 living children. The house they lived in was also rented, and he was a carpenter of "buildings." So... a construction worker then? He was a wage earner, so he worked for someone else.

In the 1915 New York State Census, the family lived at 283 Lemon Street. Why did they move around so much? He was still a carpenter. Florence was not in their house anymore, as she was now married and living with her husband. The eldest son, Ernest, who was 17, was a lithographer. Delbert and Dorothy were "at school."

In 1920, the family still lived on 283 Lemon Street in Buffalo. It was Henry and Louise with their two youngest children, Delbert and Dorothy. Henry F. was still a carpenter of "house." Their eldest, Florence, was married and still in Buffalo. Their eldest son, Ernest, was living with Florence and her husband, Albert Windisch! Ernest's wife on the 1920 census was listed as "Mrs. Ernest." Ernest was a "motor mechanic" working in a garage. Florence's husband was a lithographer. They were both wage earners. Of course the women and children's occupations were listed as "none." That was the culture at that time. That doesn't mean, however, that they didn't earn wages. They may have been self-employed as seamstresses or other domestic services.

Funnily enough, after reading Florence's obituary, it said she was a retired seamstress. Why did the census enumerator list her occupation as "none?" Did he just assume that, as a woman, she was at home, keeping house? Did he discount that she was bringing money into the home? Did he even bother to ask what her occupation was?

In the 1925 New York State census, Henry and his wife lived on 374 Florida Street in Buffalo. Their son, Delbert, 25 years old, lived with them as a machinist. Their daughter, Dorothy, 17 years old, was a clerk. Henry was still a carpenter, and he would be listed as such until he retired.

In 1930, Henry and his wife lived with their daughter Florence and her husband, Russell Jones. Also on this census was Florence and Russell's 16-year-old daughter, Doris Jones, and Henry and Louise's 22-year-old daughter, Dorothy Howard. They are also no longer in New York but now are in Detroit, Michigan. Interesting. Dorothy was a "saleslady" at a department store. Florence was listed as a dressmaker at "garmentworks" and her husband a "photo engineer." It is good to see that Florence was given credit for her career as a seamstress and also Dorothy in sales.

Henry F's wife, Louise, died in 1938, if I have researched correctly. Something feels off here, though, and, even after an entire day's worth of researching, I am unable to put my finger on what I'm feeling. I wish I knew more! Hopefully one day I will!

Henry F. Howard
Carolyn Ann Howard Family Collection

 In the 1940 U.S. census, Henry was correctly listed as a widow, still lived with his daughter, Florence and her husband, Russell Jones. They were at 1764 Helen Avenue. And now, Henry's daughter, Doris, who was married to Lanis Robbins, along with their children, lived in the same household as well. On this census, we find out that Henry F. had a 6th-grade education. He apparently is retired, as the block for his employment is blank. I looked up 1764 Helen Street on Google Maps, and it looks like this house has been torn down. Comparing it to other houses in the neighborhood, they look big enough to support three families. Being used to living in a so-called "nuclear family," I find it fascinating how parents and children so often cohabitated together. I love it.

Unfortunately, the cohabitation wasn't enough for Henry F. Howard. And no amount of time on Ancestry can let us know what demons this poor soul was dealing with. I will, of course, continue to study. Unfortunately, Henry ended his own life 28 Oct 1953 by putting a bullet into his head. He and his wife are not buried side-by-side. I'm not even sure at this point if they're in the same cemetery together. There's something there, that is for sure.

Henry with his sister, Ella, who died in 1952
Ella went by many different names in her life
In the end, she went with Ella
Carolyn Ann Howard Family Collection

© 2022 by December Moonlight Publishing, LLC

Peter Howard of Brunswick, New York (1797-1865) The Father of a Gentleman

  Johann Gottfried Hauer (John Godfrey Howard) Family Line

 Peter Howard of Brunswick, New York (1797-1865) The Father of a "Gentleman"
___________________

 by Carolyn Ann Howard
This post was updated 05 May 2022
Click on photos to enlarge

The purchase of Peter Howard's bible was nearly fruitless
I'm glad I have it, though.

My Howard family came to America through John "Godfrey" Howard, a Hessian soldier, who was hired by the British to fight against the Americans in the Revolutionary War. After the war, Godfrey Howard took up George Washington's offer to stay in America simply by taking an oath of allegiance to the United States. Howard settled down in Grafton, New York, got married and had children. One of those children was Peter Howard.

Peter Howard was born in Grafton, New York on 17 May 1797. He was baptized as an infant at The Gilead Lutheran Church in Brunswick, New York. I have these records in a box that's in the closet. I'm sure the record has the exact date, but all I recorded on my Ancestry tree was 1797 for the baptism. And that box is not easy to get down, either, so we'll leave it at that for now. Peter's baptismal sponsors were Peter Hoener, Jr and wife Elisabeta. The church building where he was baptized is no longer there, but the Gilead Church itself is still going strong, having relocated 2-1/2 miles south in 1817.

Peter married Sarah Brust 01 Feb 1823. I only know this because I have his Bible, and it is written inside it. I don't have a marriage certificate or any other document on Ancestry for this marriage. (Correction: Family Search has a text file for this event. The marriage occurred at the Gilead Lutheran Church.) Sarah was the daughter of Matthew Brust and Anna Maria "Mary" Wager. She was born somewhere in or around 1801 in New York. Peter and Sarah had only 3 sons that I can tell: Isaac (1824-1887),  Lyman (1826-1843), and Jacob (1835-1877).

Peter's father, John Godfrey, along with several of his brothers and sisters, migrated to Middlebury, New York, in or around 1831 at the age of 77. After the trip, he soon died, which so often happened to the older folks. Peter and John, Jr. were the only sons still living who stayed behind in Grafton.

I know very little about Peter Howard and family. I was hoping the purchase of his Bible on eBay would tell his tale. It didn't. We do have the census records, however. In the 1850 census, Peter was with his wife, Sarah, and 2 surviving sons in Brunswick, New York. Peter was listed as a farmer. His eldest son, aged 26, a school teacher. His younger son, aged 13, a laborer. Their middle son had since died. This Howard family were surrounded by Brusts!

In the 1855 New York State Census, the family were in the same place, and Peter and his two surviving sons were all listed as farmers. In the 1860 Federal census, they were in the same place; they were all together in the same household, and they were all listed as farmers. Peter's land, according to the census, was worth $2,000. His personal estate: $300. 

The subject of our essay, Peter, died in 1865 of stomach cancer; my cousin told me the cause of death. Isaac was his - as they say now - personal representative. I can find no records of how the will was distributed, only that Isaac was the one in control of the estate.

Am I wrong to wonder why these two sons never got married? Don't you think it's a little odd in the late 1800s to have two sons who didn't marry? And how did that middle son die?

Five years after Peter's death, in the 1870 census, Sarah and her two sons were still together on the same farm, that was now worth $3,000. The eldest son, Isaac, 46, was listed once more as a school teacher. The youngest son, Jacob, 35, was listed as a farm laborer. Why was Isaac a school teacher and not a farmer? After all, he now was the head of household on a farm that in 1870 was worth $3,000. Isaac had been a schoolteacher before, however, and maybe after his father died, he felt he could get back to it.

There also are no longer any Brusts on the same page as they are, nor the page before, nor the page after. There is the George Wager family, who likely was a relation to Peter's mother-in-law.

In the 1875 state census, it was just Isaac and Jacob living together. Their mother, Sarah Brust, had died that same year. Isaac was listed as a school teacher and Jacob as a farm laborer. Two years later, Jacob was dead. It is said that he drowned while intoxicated. I don't believe it. And why not? Because by the 1880 census, Issac had sold all the land and had moved to Lansingburgh, New York, a part of modern-day Troy. He was a boarder of George Clickner. I did George Clickner's tree to see if there was any familial relationship between his family and the Howards. There wasn't.

Issac's occupation on that census? Gentleman. Translation: Someone who has made so much money off an inheritance, that they no longer need an income. Well, good for Isaac, I guess. But why not just put "retired" or "retired school teacher?" That he told the census enumerator that he was a "gentlemen" feels arrogant to me. I do not have the answer. But hopefully one day, I will! And when I find it, you, dear reader, will be the first to know!

© 2022 by December Moonlight Publishing, LLC