Genealogy Tips
Rape, Predators, and Genealogy
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by Carolyn Ann Howard
This post updated 08 Sep 2021
About a week ago, I began to write a glowing blog about a particular ancestor, but in our current climate and with the MeToo movement, I stopped to think. Of course my desire is to write glowing accounts of all my ancestors. Unfortunately, it is known for certain that at least one of my ancestors was a pedophile. This particular ancestor was a pillar of his community and a well-respected church-goer, an elder. The ugly fact is only known by family and victims who have been successful in keeping it secret. These things that happen behind closed doors are so vile, so shameful, that victims most of the time remain silent.
I'm guilty. An example from my tree: I always thought Eliza Jane Raney's father was Joseph Raney. She lived in the same household as Joseph Raney so why wouldn't she be his daughter? It was brought to my attention through another person's blog that Eliza Jane Raney was an orphan who had been adopted by her Uncle Joseph Raney. [2]
To be fair, she does fit right in as a daughter. The couple have four children on the 1850 census ages 10, 8, 6, 2. Eliza Jane is the 8-year-old. So we really have no clues from this census that she is adopted. Genealogists can't rely on a single source or even several sources. Fortunately, with technology, genealogists now have so many more tools. Even so, we must always keep an open mind and consider possibilities for different outcomes.
Rape and illegitimacy have always been seen as shameful, things that are to be kept secret. In my book Blood of My Ancestor, I confronted and explained the reality of life in rural America in the 1800s. The reasoning was necessary to understand why one of the main characters, Malinda, who had a baby "out of wedlock," turned down Isreal's proposal for marriage. A hugely weighty decision made by a brave woman. (Update: This is now a deleted excerpt from the book, because, in hindsight, I felt that it interrupted the storyline.)
Be diligent in your documentation and resist the temptation to put your ancestors onto pedestals. Even if they deserve that pedestal, it does them a disservice as they take their place on your family tree.
Even today in 2018, "60% of rapes/sexual assaults are not reported to police, according to a statistical average of the past 5 years. Those rapists, of course, never spend a day in prison. Factoring in unreported rapes, only about 6% of rapists ever serve a day in jail." [1]The message, then, is this: We who do genealogy must be diligent and intentional in our documentation. Indeed, we must be excellent. We owe that to those who read and use our work for their own trees. Its tough, and it can be exhausting, but we must not allow mediocre results to creep in.
I'm guilty. An example from my tree: I always thought Eliza Jane Raney's father was Joseph Raney. She lived in the same household as Joseph Raney so why wouldn't she be his daughter? It was brought to my attention through another person's blog that Eliza Jane Raney was an orphan who had been adopted by her Uncle Joseph Raney. [2]
To be fair, she does fit right in as a daughter. The couple have four children on the 1850 census ages 10, 8, 6, 2. Eliza Jane is the 8-year-old. So we really have no clues from this census that she is adopted. Genealogists can't rely on a single source or even several sources. Fortunately, with technology, genealogists now have so many more tools. Even so, we must always keep an open mind and consider possibilities for different outcomes.
Rape and illegitimacy have always been seen as shameful, things that are to be kept secret. In my book Blood of My Ancestor, I confronted and explained the reality of life in rural America in the 1800s. The reasoning was necessary to understand why one of the main characters, Malinda, who had a baby "out of wedlock," turned down Isreal's proposal for marriage. A hugely weighty decision made by a brave woman. (Update: This is now a deleted excerpt from the book, because, in hindsight, I felt that it interrupted the storyline.)
The real problem was that the pioneers had no real form of birth control, meaning that many times having sex led to having a baby. That was the conundrum. Because of that, society imposed its own birth control in the form of abstinence. The punishment that society dished out to those who broke the rule of abstinence, finding themselves pregnant, was to make the woman an outcast. An unmarried pregnant woman found herself to be an object of scorn, ridicule and gossip. They were treated poorly and were deliberately humiliated. The child was often treated worse.
Another problem Malinda couldn’t fully grasp was the collective thought of what having a baby outside of marriage meant to society. Who would be financially responsible for the child? The pioneers had no social service organizations to help women with this. Orphanages, poor farms and workhouses were starting to crop up, but these were poor excuses for childcare.
Some unmarried women, after having their baby, not knowing what else to do or where else to turn, simply abandoned the child, allowing it to die. Some left their babies on the steps of a church, hoping the church or someone in the church would take their child in.
Abrahm Alley Log Cabin in Colorado [3]
Sometimes a family would send their pregnant daughter away to hide with relatives, while the mother feigned pregnancy by stuffing her clothes with pillows. In that way, when a new child appeared within the family, people would naturally assume it was the mother’s child and not the daughter’s. Some families sent their pregnant daughter away, hiding them with relatives, telling everyone their daughter had gotten married. Then, when the daughter returned some months later with a new baby, they would say she was a widow whose husband had died shortly after the marriage. All of that was done to save face in a culture where the pregnancy of an unmarried woman was greatly stigmatized and feared.
It may never be known which ancestors of yours or mine were raped or those who were sexual predators. We can be certain they're there, though. Of course, we don't want to be judgmental, because this is very serious! But if something isn't lining up, or even if it is, keep in mind that anything is possible.Some states, like North Carolina, had legal lists called “bastardy bonds.” When the state learned a so-called illegitimate child was being carried, the family or the father would be forced to sign a bond. Someone had to declare financial responsibility for the child. [4]
Be diligent in your documentation and resist the temptation to put your ancestors onto pedestals. Even if they deserve that pedestal, it does them a disservice as they take their place on your family tree.
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[1] Facts About Sexual Assault. (n.d.). Retrieved October 01, 2018, from https://cmsac.org/facts-and-statistics/
[2] https://www.genealogy.com/forum/surnames/topics/raney/761/
[3] Photo credit: By Darrylpearson [CC BY-SA 4.0 (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0)], from Wikimedia Commons
[4] Howard, Carolyn Ann. Blood of My Ancestor. December Moonlight Publishing, LLC, 2012.
© 2022 by December Moonlight Publishing, LLC
